Self Gaslighting Buckle up, this is going to be rough….trigger warning for emotional abuse and narcissistic abuse. Possibly also triggers around minimising and micro aggressions to self. Okay, there’s the triggers out the way. If I’ve left anything out please let me know and I’ll add them in. This is something I want you to [...]
Tag: toxic people
Mental illness isn’t an excuse to abuse.
There is a permanent struggle with clients over whether the behaviours narcissists exhibit are in intentional. There’s a deeper struggle around the fact that narcissism is listed in the DSM, which officially makes it a mental illness. Society is shifting towards an understanding and awareness of mental health issues and conditions. There’s a growing acceptance [...]
DNA doesn’t equal a right to abuse.
You do not have to tolerate abuse or toxicity from anyone. ESPECIALLY those you share DNA with. In fact. I would offer that rather than being more ready to ‘forgive’ someone from your blood family, perhaps they should have to work harder to earn your presence and trust. Because it is within the bonds of [...]
Narcissistic parents and the complementary moral defence.
I love the words in this image, because we repeat what we know even if that means ending up in abusive situations. The biggest problem with this is that when there is parental narcissistic abuse, sometimes those who have suffered don’t realise until they’re a LOT older and have already experienced abusive relationships. Narcissistic parents [...]
Genuine v Fake Apologies
Okay, so here it is, the blog I’ve been promising on apologies. It’s going to be long, so grab a drink, find a comfy spot and get ready! Apologies are tricky. Have you ever had someone apologise, but it doesn’t really feel right? Like it’s left you feeling as though somehow they don’t really feel [...]
Why can’t they see the poison?
It can be really tough when we see through someone’s behaviour, and recognise it for toxicity, and yet, others don’t. Especially in narcissistic families, when the scapegoat realises the parent is abusive it can be isolating and frustrating that others in the same family can’t or won’t acknowledge how unhealthy the behaviour is. The same [...]
Suicide Part 2.
Suicide, part two. When I wrote the previous post, I was thinking about people who experience suicidal ideation from a place where their external impact is perceived as one so negative that they wish not to be a burden anymore. I was describing what I can only describe as honest suicide. As I wrote it, [...]
Telling the truth….
The most frustrating thing for children of narcissists is represented in this image. Imagine finally coming up for air from the constant brainwashing; realising your family system is toxic and entirely constructed to defend the mirage of the narcissists image, only to have your truth questioned by those around you. One of the questions on [...]
Toxic People
Dealing with toxic people is highly unpleasant, but sadly a likely part of life. Today I’m going to explain what makes someone toxic and how to identify them. Tomorrow I will explain how to deal with them. A toxic person will be someone who you might identify as draining. They will always be central to [...]
Projection
Projection: Psychological defence mechanism that people use to deny behaviours they perpetuate, by accusing others of doing the same things. For example, the cheating husband accusing the loyal wife of having an affair (or the other way round!) when it is in fact him who is doing it. Projection is essentially blame shifting, and exonerates [...]
