Self Gaslighting Buckle up, this is going to be rough….trigger warning for emotional abuse and narcissistic abuse. Possibly also triggers around minimising and micro aggressions to self. Okay, there’s the triggers out the way. If I’ve left anything out please let me know and I’ll add them in. This is something I want you to [...]
Tag: projection
Mental illness isn’t an excuse to abuse.
There is a permanent struggle with clients over whether the behaviours narcissists exhibit are in intentional. There’s a deeper struggle around the fact that narcissism is listed in the DSM, which officially makes it a mental illness. Society is shifting towards an understanding and awareness of mental health issues and conditions. There’s a growing acceptance [...]
DNA doesn’t equal a right to abuse.
You do not have to tolerate abuse or toxicity from anyone. ESPECIALLY those you share DNA with. In fact. I would offer that rather than being more ready to ‘forgive’ someone from your blood family, perhaps they should have to work harder to earn your presence and trust. Because it is within the bonds of [...]
The complementary moral defence.
The Complementary Moral Defence Those that know, know that the narcissist believes they are the epitome of perfection. That when someone has a problem with the narcissist’s behaviour, it is THEIR problem, not that of the narcissist. It can be the most frustrating thing about interacting with a narcissist, they never accept responsibility, they devalue, [...]
Be kind to yourself…
YES. Be kind to yourself. It doesn’t matter if anyone has it worse, (in your eyes) or it could be worse, or it’s over with or any other reason you might find to minimise your experience. Emotional events are HARD. There is no ‘should’ to how you feel, how long you have felt, how long [...]
Narcissistic parents and the complementary moral defence.
I love the words in this image, because we repeat what we know even if that means ending up in abusive situations. The biggest problem with this is that when there is parental narcissistic abuse, sometimes those who have suffered don’t realise until they’re a LOT older and have already experienced abusive relationships. Narcissistic parents [...]
Valuing the right person
🙌🏼❤️ I read this and thought YES!!! Exactly! And then something niggled. And as I’ve learned to do, I stopped and let the niggle grow. Instead of squishing it down I listened. And here’s what that was about. When we allow our worth to be determined by others, it will never be enough. Constantly looking [...]
Narcissistic Parentification
So, here I am, the last in the instalments about parentification. Today’s offering is on Narcissistic Parentification. Grab a drink, a snack, and get comfy, because not only could this be long, but I suspect for some of you this might be painful, and I really want to ask you to keep yourselves safe in [...]
Instrumental Parentification
One of the things that I hear repeatedly in therapy is the parentification of children from a young age, particularly children of narcissists. It’s something that parents need to be very careful not to do to children, so as to avoid the impact of that behaviour, which I’ll explain later. So, I guess the first [...]
How to choose a therapist
Choosing a therapist. Entering therapy can be really scary. It’s a bit like going to the dentist. We don’t want to, we know it’s going to hurt, but we also know that we have to look after ourselves and we sometimes can’t do that alone. So how do we go about picking a person who’s [...]
