Liberation Therapy Blog
A Description of an Overt Narcissist
Bill is 45 years old. He is married and has 2 teenage children, a boy and girl. Bill is a manager of a large department store. He is well presented, charismatic and charming. The life and soul of the party, but he doesn’t seem to have any very close friends, or friends he’s had for a long time.
When Bill is in conversation with someone without really understanding why, the other person will find the conversation will turn onto talking about Bill no matter what subject was originally started on. Bill will regularly mention contacts that he thinks have value, essentially ‘name dropping’ to impress others and inflate their perception of him.
Bill has a nice car and house, which he invites people to see often, and always has the latest gadgets or accessories. Bill enjoys shopping and buying himself ‘treats’ feeling as though it’s absolutely his right to have it.
When someone contradicts Bill, or disagrees with him, he takes it very personally, and will usually get very angry. Bill will make the person who has offended him look as bad as possibly in order to discredit anything negative that may have been said about him.
If Bill makes a mistake, he will do everything possible to avoid taking any blame. He will justify his mistake by blaming everything and everyone apart from himself. Bill never takes responsibility for his actions.
Bill’s relationships are based on exploitation, using people, including his own wife and children to advance and enhance his self-image. His wife is likely quiet and timid, generally enabling Bill’s behaviour. His children will likely have been cast into roles, one as a ‘golden child’, who can do no wrong, and one as a ‘scapegoat’, who can do no right.
Bill is dominant in his relationships, and uses manipulation to get people around him to do what he wants them to do. Bill has likely cheated on his wife many times, but will always blame her for his actions, for example if she denies him sex he will say he had to get it somewhere.
He sees his children and wife as extensions of himself, so when they do not behave in a way he deems acceptable he demonstrates huge anger towards them, disproportionate to whatever ‘offence has been caused.
As a manager Bill is superficially friendly and gregarious, appearing generous to those who tow the line, however he won’t think twice about exploitaing someone to gain more power at work, or slandering/libelling someone if it will benefit his cause.
Bill believes that he is always right, and if he is wrong it is because someone has misunderstood him or fed him the wrong information. Bill will believe the way he does things is the best way for them to be done, even if someone practically demonstrates a better way. Should a person contradict Bill in this manner he will become angry and aggressive, perhaps once again engaging in slander or libel to discredit the person who has shown him up. Bill likes to give his opinion whether requested or not, and enjoys lecturing colleagues, family and friends on his superior knowledge.
Bill expects people to respond to his demands for attention immediately, and has no consideration for anything that might require his patience. Bill does not care that his employee’s child is in the hospital, after all, if the child is in the hospital, the parent doesn’t need to be there too.
On social media, Bill only ever posts photos where he looks great, or to show off what exciting activity he is partaking in.
When Bill has got everything he think he can out of another person, he will ‘discard’ them, cutting all communication and ignoring any attempts to reconnect.
Bill will always be trying to establish his superiority and dominance, even drawing those around him into competition to reinforce or build his position.