Month: June 2019

Monday Motivation.

Actually, this isn’t about having motivation, it’s about not NEEDING motivation.

A lot of the time, I hear people explain how they are lacking motivation. How they are struggling to connect with the thing they need to do to get to the goal they want.

‘Why do you need motivation?’ I respond.

‘To do the work!’ They usually look at me like I’m an idiot. That to be able to sit down and do something they need to feel that surge of inspiration. They need to have a huge desire to do it.

What if I told you, they’re wrong?

I know, it sounds nuts. I also know it’s a LOT easier when we have that feeling, but it’s not necessary. We just have to do it.

There are some fine lines here. We don’t have to drive ourselves into the ground, and we don’t have to hate it whilst we do it. We just need to start. And to be kind to ourselves in the process. Allowing ourselves pauses, breaks, distance is totally fine and in fact really important, so long as it’s not fear hiding behind an excuse.

Sometimes we use the lack of motivation as a justification for not starting, but what we’re actually saying is ‘I’m scared’. The fear might be many things, but usually it’s a fear of not being good enough, or of failing. And so we procrastinate and put off starting because we don’t feel that wonderful feeling of inspiration. And then, because we have delayed our start, we self fulfil the prophecy, and we don’t do as good a job as we know we can, or we do indeed fail.

So we fail because we’re scared of failing. Seems a bit silly now doesn’t it?!

And so what we have to do is just start. Write one sentence. Draw one line. Read the first page. Commit to doing 15 minutes and no more. BE KIND to yourself in it. But just start.

It seems easier said than done, but for me, it’s a tried and tested measure of success. To get where I’ve got today, 4 years of Uni with all my other commitments has boiled down to this mantra.

JUST START, AND JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

Because you’ll never go anywhere without taking the first step.

Image available here: https://www.amourableart.com/products/just-keep-swimming

I’ve lost my blogging mojo. I’m not really worried about it because I know it will come back. I’ve got loads of thoughts and ideas to share with you. I’ve just not had the impetus to sit down and write.

And here’s the thing with that.

It’s okay.

I could be sitting here beating myself up for not pushing and promoting my page. I could be criticizing my lack of commitment, my lack of inspiration, my lack of words; but I’m not. And more importantly I won’t.

I can justify it to myself loads. I have had lots of client hours this week. I’ve been on a train the trainer course with the NHS. I’ve got friends who’ve needed my spare time. I’m tired. I’ve had a headache. I started walking to my car on my right foot. The sunflower was growing wonky. I ran out of squash.

I know right. As I go further down the list, the excuses become just that, excuses.

I don’t NEED to make excuses. Nobody suffers if I don’t blog, (I hope!), I don’t rely on it for income, I do it for pleasure.

Everything I write is natural, authentic and because I’ve felt a need to share something with you.

I still feel that need but it’s been fleeting this week, so until I have managed to sit down tonight, I haven’t felt inspired to say anything.

Again. That’s okay.

I mean, I could get myself all twisted about it. I could force the process and churn something out that would be preachy and not quite hit the mark I want it to. And that would make me feel rubbish. So what’s the point?

Instead of criticizing myself for not blogging, I’m being compassionate and kind to myself. Instead of berating myself for not blogging, I am congratulating myself on self care.

You know, really what I’m trying to say is this:

When you are not meeting your self imposed expectations, be kind to yourself. Look at all the wonderful things you have accomplished, even if that’s just breathing.

Be kind to yourself. Because how does being hard on yourself actually help?