(disclaimer – this does not apply to abusive criticism) When someone criticises us, it can be really hard not to fall into the black and white thinking of ‘they hate me, I’m a terrible person’ rather than being able to recognise that it is the thing that is bring criticised that isn’t liked, rather than [...]
Author: Liberation Therapy
I'm a psychotherapist that specialises in parental narcissistic abuse in adult clients. I also help clients who have children with Autism.
You made it. HNY 2021
So here we are at the end of 2020. It's been an absolute rollercoaster, and I think most of us have got through it by clinging to each other, and perhaps by letting go of some. Personally I've got through it by trying to keep as many things as 'normal' as possible. Trying to focus [...]
The dangling narrative
When we are small children, we hear messages (both positive and negative) about ourselves and the world that we internalise and create core beliefs, or our narrative, from. We then spend the rest of our lives looking for things that confirm these narratives, and as a result we ignore the things that contradict that narrative. [...]
Covert Sexual Abuse
TRIGGER WARNING - SEXUAL ABUSE, RAPE. So I posted on facebook a little while ago to get an idea of what people understood to be covert sexual abuse. It didn't seem as though many knew what I meant by it, but it certainly piqued the interest of some. So this blog is going to set [...]
Frog in boiling water – why we stay in abusive relationships so long.
Why did I stay so long? Why didn’t I see it until now? How could I have done this to myself and my children? These are the questions I hear from abuse survivors ALL. THE. TIME. They blame themselves for being abused. They take responsibility for the behaviour of their abuser. They carry soul crushing [...]
Self Gaslighting
Self Gaslighting Buckle up, this is going to be rough….trigger warning for emotional abuse and narcissistic abuse. Possibly also triggers around minimising and micro aggressions to self. Okay, there’s the triggers out the way. If I’ve left anything out please let me know and I’ll add them in. This is something I want you to [...]
Killing the trauma bond
‘How do I stop caring?’ It’s a question I hear over and and over again. And the answer crushes me. Because it goes against everything I want to give people to help them on their road to growth and wellness. To break the trauma bond, we have to remove hope. We have to take away [...]
Mental illness isn’t an excuse to abuse.
There is a permanent struggle with clients over whether the behaviours narcissists exhibit are in intentional. There’s a deeper struggle around the fact that narcissism is listed in the DSM, which officially makes it a mental illness. Society is shifting towards an understanding and awareness of mental health issues and conditions. There’s a growing acceptance [...]
DNA doesn’t equal a right to abuse.
You do not have to tolerate abuse or toxicity from anyone. ESPECIALLY those you share DNA with. In fact. I would offer that rather than being more ready to ‘forgive’ someone from your blood family, perhaps they should have to work harder to earn your presence and trust. Because it is within the bonds of [...]
